Birthdays are a funny thing, I find.

Not haha funny, but unusual funny. They're both a joy and depressing. It's an annual reminder to go 'Look, you're one year older... what did you achieve this past year?'. I find, for the most part, the answer is always the same... nothing.

I have a birthday next week. Not a big one, but not a small one. Somewhere between 25 and 30. I'm certainly not getting any younger, but I'm in the same boat as everyone else... none of us are.

For someone my age there is much I should've achieved by now. A lot of my friends have settled. They're in committed relationships, some married, some have houses with the white picket fence, some have children, they have careers. I'm the flipside to the coin. I have none of that. That's not to say I don't want it. There's a definite yearning for it. And God knows my mother wants more grandchildren, she's not afraid to say that out loud.

I wonder if I've spent too much time travelling the world. Is that possible? I took my first trip in 2002-2003 and spent 11 months backpacking through the UK, Europe, Canada and North America. My second trip was quicker - 4 1/2 months in 2004. Just Canada and North America. By the time I was 23 I'd seen 21 countries. I am now on my third trip, though I know this'll be my last 'big' trip. I left home 53 weeks ago. I spent 6 months travelling through Canada and North America (I have family and friends there) and took in a new country this time around - 3 weeks in Mexico. Now 22 countries. I wonder if the travelling has been more of hindrance than a help. Though I find the cultural learnings I've gathered along the way cannot be taught to me in a classroom, nor can I read about it in a book.

I know there's a lot I should've done with my life by now and there's still a lot I should do. I don't know where my life's going, though I know where I'd like to be. It's not just this time of the year that I assess and re-evaluate my life and my achievments (or lack thereof) but I do tend to do it more around this time in December.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, let's be honest, does anyone ever stick it out longer than a month? Maybe this New Year's resolution should be to believe in New Year's resolutions. Maybe when I blow out the candles this year, maybe I should wish for something realistic. Maybe I should wish for something attainable, something I can look back on this time next year and feel a sense of accomplishment. Maybe I should wish to see my dreams come true. Maybe.

Birthdays are a funny thing.